The Bridge You Stopped Crossing: A Magic Question About Repair at Work
A relationship rarely ends with an argument
Most working relationships do not break in a single moment. They drift. A tense exchange in September goes unaddressed. You start sending that colleague an email instead of stopping by. Then you stop sending the email and ask someone else. By late October, you have built a whole routine around not needing them, and it feels normal.
That drift has a cost. You lose their perspective, their help, and the easy trust that once made the work lighter. Often they feel the distance too, and fill it with a story about you. The longer it lasts, the harder the first step back feels.
That is why this month's Magic Question is about repair. Magic Questions are short prompts meant to make you pause, look honestly at how you are working, and choose one thing to do differently.
This month's Magic Question:
"Who have I quietly stopped working with, and what would it take to rebuild that bridge this week?"
How to sit with this question
Give yourself five quiet minutes. Answer honestly, even if only to yourself.
Who comes to mind first? Notice the name that surfaces before you start explaining it away. That first answer is usually the right one.
What do I believe about them that I have never checked? Separate what actually happened from the story you have told yourself since.
What part of the distance is mine? You do not need to own all of it. Naming your share is what makes the first step possible.
One small step for this week: reach out with something low-stakes and genuine. Ask for their input on a task, thank them for something specific, or simply say, "I feel like we've gotten out of sync, and I'd like to fix that." You are not trying to settle everything in one conversation. You are just crossing the bridge once, so it is easier to cross again.
Why small repairs matter
Unresolved friction between colleagues tends to grow quietly, and the cost shows up later in morale, teamwork, and who decides to stay. Repair works the same way in reverse. Each small, honest step back toward someone makes the next one easier, for you and for everyone who works alongside you both.
For a closer look at how unaddressed tension builds across a team, and what leaders can do about it early, read this month's feature, Conflict Debt: What Unresolved Staff Friction Quietly Costs a School by Spring.
Which bridge will you cross this week?
Comments