The Cost of Quiet: Why Clarity is the Solution to May Exhaustion

By DJ Nicholson

By the time May arrives in a school building, the air carries a specific kind of weight. It is a mixture of adrenaline and deep fatigue. For education leaders, this month is often a marathon of logistics - state testing, graduation prep, and the puzzle of next year’s master schedule. But beneath the surface of the "end-of-year push" lies a quieter, more corrosive challenge: the temptation to retreat.

When a leader is as tired as their staff, the instinct is often to maintain a "low profile." The logic is: Everyone is stressed; I don't want to add more to their plate by bringing up a difficult issue. We tell ourselves that by avoiding a hard conversation or overlooking a dip in professional standards, we are being empathetic. But what happens to a school culture when leaders choose silence in the name of peace?

Reclaiming Agency

It is impossible to lead a school today without hearing the tone of the national narrative, from teacher burnout to systemic funding gaps. These are valid pressures. However, for a building leader, staring too long at these macro-problems can lead to a sense of powerlessness.

While you cannot single-handedly solve the national staffing shortage or rewrite state-level education policy, you have immense influence over the micro-climate of your building. Although these systemic issues might drive people toward the exit, it is often the daily environment and culture that determines whether they actually walk through it.

Leadership communication is the primary lever for this environment. In times of high external stress, your ability to provide a predictable, honest, and grounded presence is what stabilizes a team. Control in May means managing the clarity of your own voice.

The High Price of Avoidance

In the heat of May, conflict avoidance usually disguises itself as "giving people grace." At Davis Elementary, Mr. Duffy, a new principal, was very kind and supportive of his staff, but was overwhelmed by evaluations and paperwork. As the instructional coach that supported his teachers, I appreciated his kindness, but also recognized that two of his teachers, Jean and Carol, were in conflict over instructional support for certain students. When I brought this conflict to his attention, Mr. Duffy’s seemed to shrug it off as “end of the year drama”. His boundaries felt unclear.

Here’s how that avoidance manifested and how it could have eroded the culture he was trying to protect:

The "Wait Until August" Mentality:

I remember him saying: "They just need to make it to the end of the year. We’ll reset in August. They need the summer to cool off.” Mr. Duffy knew there was a recurring conflict between Jean and Carol, but instead of addressing it, he wanted to wait until the new school year for a "fresh start." For both teachers involved, this might have felt like a lack of protection, leading to resentment that fuels burnout.

Vague Feedback:

Mr. Duffy’s inclination was to soften feedback and lighten necessary correction. It felt easier to use the "sandwich method": praise with the difficult situation hidden in the middle. This vagueness left these two teachers wondering where they stood with no sense of resolution.

Ignoring the "Small" Cultural Fractures:

Jean and Carol consistently bypassed school-wide expectations for all staff. If their conflict was not addressed, it would have sent a message to the rest of the staff that expectations were optional. This might have potentially upended the positive culture created throughout the year.

Practical Steps Toward Clarity

Addressing these issues requires courageous brevity, not an hour-long meeting. Here are three ways to lead with clarity right now:

Address the "Elephant" Sooner:

Have a quick “check-in”. Mr. Duffy and I collaborated on how to best support Jean and Carol, and he decided to schedule a ten-minute “pulse check” with each teacher to address the tension. His goal was to identify strain, validate how hard each was working, and ask, “How are you doing, really?" After individual meetings, he brought them together to discuss how to move forward.

Clarify One Non-Negotiable:

Pick one area where expectations have started to slide due to fatigue (e.g., duty/transitions or grading). For the conflict between Jean and Carol, the non-negotiable was student success and ensuring that the right supports were in place. He acknowledged the conflict in his conversations with them, but reaffirmed the expectation: "I know it can be stressful, but I need you both to work together to do what’s right for students."

Validate the Strain Without Absorbing the Chaos:

You can acknowledge that there is stress without becoming a victim of it. When a teacher vents about scheduling, colleague performance, or student need, listen, validate, and then pivot to the immediate: "It’s okay to feel frustrated. My goal is to make sure that while you're in this building, you feel like your time is respected and your voice is heard. What’s one thing in our schedule this week that we can simplify to give you more time to sort out support for students/create an assessment schedule/lesson plan?"

The Path to Genuine Peace

True peace in a school building begins with trust. Trust is built when staff know that their leader cares enough to be honest, even when it’s uncomfortable.

As you navigate these final weeks, remember that your team doesn't need you to ignore their exhaustion. They need you to be the leader who tells the truth, offers support, and keeps the standard. Choosing clarity over silence is the most respectful thing you can do for your staff and yourself.

Ask yourself: As you look at your "to-do" list for this week, which conversation are you avoiding in the name of 'getting through the year,' and what is the potential cost of staying silent?

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DJ Nicholson is a Senior Trainer and Educational Consultant with Presidential Consultants and brings more than two decades of experience supporting educators, school leaders, and community organizations. Her background spans instructional coaching, special education, music therapy, and professional development, giving her a uniquely engaging and people-centered approach to learning and collaboration.

DJ partners with teams to strengthen communication, build trust, and create workplace environments where people feel supported, connected, and equipped to work through challenges together. Her work focuses on practical strategies that help professionals communicate more effectively, navigate differences with greater flexibility, and reconnect with the purpose behind the work they do every day.

Learn more about DJ’s work!